The Boyfriend Book

Do you have that one friend that will remind you of the reasons why you shouldn’t pursue a particular relationship? A scripture or a quote to encourage you? I’m blessed to say I now have those but when I was younger I had The Boyfriend Book.

I didn’t know that’s what it was until I noticed a pattern with the way I wrote in the notebook. Basically it was this notebook where I wrote the name of the guy I dated (or wanted to date…mostly wanted to date lol) , facts about him ( including zodiac sign SMH), things that attracted me to him, and things that I didn’t like or reasons why the relationship wouldn’t work.

I don’t know why I started that book back then. I probably needed a separate journal to organize my thoughts. Either way that book was a lifesaver because writing down the reasons why the relationship didn’t work encouraged me to move on. Writing and meditating on a list was like having that friend to constantly remind me of how I deserved better.

Now I don’t have that book or need it because I’m married lol but I can still apply the same concept in other areas of my life. Along with my list of “why I shouldn’t pursue…” I like to read over scriptures to help me make better decisions. For example, if I wrote on my list how someone was a distraction I would read over a scripture like Matthew 24:13 but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

I hope writing your list will encourage you just as much as it has helped me. Stay blessed!

E.G.A Book Launch Behind the Scenes

It’s officially been a month since my first virtual book launch for Ella’s Greatest Adventures: Peace at the Dental Office!
I remembered feeling kind of overwhelmed, nervous, yet excited to finally share my book but before I talk about my feelings, what’s a book launch?

A book launch is an event where the book is presented to the public for the first time , either traditionally at a venue or digitally.

I chose to launch on Facebook live mostly because of timing and less preparation that was needed to set up. So that morning I met my friends outside of my apartment’s clubhouse and immediately after speaking we ended up moving around  furniture to quickly set up.

Minutes before going live as we were eating icees and praying for a successful launch , I began to read over my notes. Clicked ‘live’ and no one was online. I waited..refreshed page..waited..refreshed page and couldn’t see anyone still lol.

At first I was using Ella’s Greatest Adventures Facebook page to go live (a page that did not have much traffic to begin with smh) and that’s when my friends suggested I used my regular account, so yayy for friends! It worked!

Everyone started popping in and I was nervous! You would think because I was sitting behind a screen I would be comfortable but I still visualized being in a physical room with people coming in and out during my presentation. Eventually I was comfortable because I realized the ones that were watching were people that I knew.

This was a big step for me because it’s easier for me to express myself on paper without using my actual voice. Also the fact that I do not like ‘live videos’, ughh!

In spite of my feelings, Ella’s story was told, family & friends rocked, and I faced my fears of doing my first book launch!

** check out Ella’s Site by clicking HERE

Overcoming the fear of dentists

I had the opportunity to shadow all kinds of dentists and the specialty that caught my interest was pediatric dentistry. In this field dentists focus on oral health of children from babies through teenage years. The patients are unpredictable , some cooperate while others have no problem letting everyone know they are terrified of dentists.

Could it be from the bright lights? The weird looking dental instruments? Or the fact dentists are working in their personal space? I agree the dental office can be intimidating and the thought of someone handling vulnerable areas in the mouth is enough to run away . However there are some tips that may help children on their next dental visit.

According to NCPediatricDentistry, they recommend that you talk about dentists positively. Create a good experience by sharing stories related to dentists. If you could only think of that one bad experience you had share other people stories. Reward them for being brave. One of the things I enjoyed from my dental visits was the toy treasure chest. If I was good during my appointment (which was all the time lol) the dentist allowed me to pick one toy from the chest, very encouraging! I went to one office to shadow and they rewarded children by giving them a gold coin to use for their toy/ gumball machine.

Explain that the dentist is a friend. I could tell the difference between the child that received ‘pep talk’ before their dental appointment vs the one that cry hysterically as their parents talk to them at the moment. I think it helps children and dentists when the parents already explain the details of the dental appointment. Playing ‘pretend doctor’ could help lessen anxiety and reading children books about dentistry is a plus!

Take your child to meet the dentist first. As they visit the dentist consistently they’ll hopefully start to recognize them as a friend and become comfortable during their actual appointment. I enjoyed watching fear disappear from children faces when hygienists allow them to hold some of the dental instruments  to let them know there’s nothing to be scared of . When there’s a lot of interaction and communication between the patient and dental staff it makes a big difference.

Select sedation for children. Now for this I wish there was an alternative. Through shadowing I’ve watched and helped dentists keep children seated so they could sedate them properly and it was NOT EASY! I also understand this is necessary for most of their procedures. One thing I enjoyed was how some dental offices kept children preoccupied with iPads and TV as they administered medicine.

There’s so much to learn from the world of dentistry and fear is not one of them. So let’s start painting better pictures for our children and dentists!

Are you in your element?

In certain cultures you'll find five essential elements, while others may claim four, 
whichever is the case, every element serves its purpose. One element's purpose may be 
to create and destroy while another is to replenish. Each understands its role
and operate in their full ability. Now let's translate this to everyday life>>
Do you recognize your purpose in someone's life? 

For myself, I recognize that I bring joy to others. I have a pretty upbeat 
attitude , smile all the time ,"Minnie Mouse" voice , and a sense of humor that 
makes people laugh even when I'm serious. I'm sure as time pass I will be able 
to recognize other areas God will allow me to excel in while helping others.
After recognizing my purpose I began observing the people in my life and what roles 
 they served. 
This was/still not an easy process for me but it becomes easier over 
time thanks to God! I was once very naïve with my heart on my sleeve,but 
over time my observation skills upgraded and I started noticing patterns of behavior
that consistently took advantage of me. I started distancing myself from certain people
along with deleting contacts from my phone, yayyy :-) , lol ! Now with my smaller 
circle I have individuals for spiritual advice, dentistry, marriage, and etc. 
 Prov 15:22 says "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed". 
It's very important to know the type of people you have in your ear and what you can 
offer as well. 

Let's operate in our elements , beautifuls!