The ‘Quiet Type’

I’ve always been the ‘quiet type’

But now been called to be still

To take notice of what’s around me

And continue to seek his will

I’ve always been the ‘quiet type’

To observe actions over the sounds of words

To listen and not always be heard

To see clearly without my vision blurred

But even as the ‘quiet type’

My thoughts sometimes get too loud

Especially if I follow the crowd

From being lowly to having sprinkles of proud

That’s when I’m called to be still

To be the student and let the teacher teach his will

To act with prudence

Before making the wrong deal

Finding my voice besides on paper is free

Greater is he that is in me

What he’s producing will begin to ripe

But in this season I’ll just be still and be the ‘quiet type’

E.G.A Book Launch Behind the Scenes

It’s officially been a month since my first virtual book launch for Ella’s Greatest Adventures: Peace at the Dental Office! EGA Peace at the Dental Office1
I remembered feeling kind of overwhelmed, nervous, yet excited to finally share my book but before I talk about my feelings, what’s a book launch?

A book launch is an event where the book is presented to the public for the first time , either traditionally at a venue or digitally.

I chose to launch on Facebook live mostly because of timing and less preparation that was needed to set up. So that morning I met my friends outside of my apartment’s clubhouse and immediately after speaking we ended up moving around  furniture to quickly set up.giphy

Minutes before going live as we were eating icees and praying for a successful launch , I began to read over my notes. Clicked ‘live’ and no one was online. I waited..refreshed page..waited..refreshed page and couldn’t see anyone still lol. giphy1

At first I was using Ella’s Greatest Adventures Facebook page to go live (a page that did not have much traffic to begin with smh) and that’s when my friends suggested I used my regular account, so yayy for friends! It worked!
giphy1

Everyone started popping in and I was nervous! You would think because I was sitting behind a screen I would be comfortable but I still visualized being in a physical room with people coming in and out during my presentation. Eventually I was comfortable because I realized the ones that were watching were people that I knew.

This was a big step for me because it’s easier for me to express myself on paper without using my actual voice. Also the fact that I do not like ‘live videos’, ughh!

In spite of my feelings, Ella’s story was told, family & friends rocked, and I faced my fears of doing my first book launch!

** check out Ella’s Site by clicking HERE

Use What You Have

When I first got the idea for Ella’s Greatest Adventures, I asked myself so many questions. “Where can I find an illustrator?” “How can I afford this?” “How can I write a book and work on my other goals?” Everyday created a new question and I felt like I had to answer those nagging questions before I could start anything. On top of the questions I felt like I had to answer, I wasn’t overly excited about becoming an author because I knew it involved public speaking. I didn’t mind the writing part, I did that everyday in my journal but speaking to crowds gave me anxiety.

It reminds me of one of my favorite people in the bible that goes by the name of Moses. Moses had an assignment from God to go back to Egypt to lead his people out slavery. Like me, Moses was not excited about his assignment (Check out Exodus Ch 3 &4). Moses gave God so many excuses as to why he wasn’t qualified and yet received confirmation after confirmation he would not be alone. Moses was also reminded to use what he had in his hand, a staff.

Back to my story, I didn’t think I was qualified to write a children’s book because I thought I had to be well prepared. Like Moses and his staff, I used what I had available which was my pen and paper. It’s so easy to be overwhelmed and distracted by a long list of things to do when God just wants you to start with what’s in front of you.

If you ever felt how I felt, doing something out of your comfort zone, I encourage you to just start with the tools you have available and God will be with you every step of the way.

 

blank business checklist close up

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Finding My Voice

I was about two months into my job when I heard God say “You’re going to find your voice.” Find my voice? I didn’t have a clue on what that meant but I had a STRONG idea it would involve me being uncomfortable. Finding your voice is finding a way to connect by expressing your ideas or discovering courage as you walk in your greatness. I thought I heard God wrong because with the role I had at my job , I didn’t see where I could use my voice. As things started to shift, opportunities came for me to speak up . Still to this day , I’m adjusting to vocalizing my opinions at work and am now faced with a new challenge.. Periscope.

Never would I ever THINK of being on Periscope in all the days of my life until I had the idea for a children’s book series called, Ella’s Greatest Adventures. A good friend mentioned the benefits of creating live content a few times but I kept shrugging it off. Eventually, I couldn’t shrug it off because I was surrounded with the idea at business workshops, books, and podcasts. I finally got the nerve to make a video and it was HARD! I looked at it as if I’m giving a presentation in an empty room and as people join it becomes overwhelming. I’m still working on getting better because its not about me.

Finding my voice was never about me, it’s all about God. Of all the things he could’ve gave me as a talent, expressing himself verbally and through writing, are some of the ways he sees best through  me. Everything we say or think he values and I think during this season he wanted to let me know that as well.

 

The Waiting Room

You’ve arrived on time for your checkup appointment and pretty excited because you know the time you sit down you’re going to be called. You already gave the receptionist the necessary paperwork and you’re ready. Hmm.. they will call me soon, you think to yourself, so to help pass the time you start to notice your environment. The waiting room is filled with people that need to be seen as well.

thZ95ZY5G3

One by one, everyone is being called to the back and it’s starting to get frustrating because there were people that did not have to wait as long. Your frustration builds to anxiety and now you’re going up to the front desk asking questions. They reassure you that the doctor will see you soon, he’s preparing some things for you; however, your patience grows thin. Your phone goes off from people sending messages asking,”why are you still waiting ?” “When are you going to move forward?”

gallery-1455721780-lead

You don’t respond because they wouldn’t understand. You did everything you were supposed to, now it’s your job to wait and be called. Finally realizing your pacing back and forth is not changing the outcome, your attitude changes while you wait. You take advantage of the wait by embracing small opportunities like reading the magazines or checking your email on your phone. Time goes by but you’re gaining wisdom and understanding. You stopped focusing on the messages, the people that were seen by the doctor before you, at that moment the door flung open and you knew the wait was over.

door-240x300 How many of us had moments like this? We ‘wait’  anxiously for God’s big call while overlooking small opportunities to grow. I know this is a challenge for me but as a father, God, constantly reassures he will not forget about me. It may seem like everyone is moving forward before me but God knows I did everything I was supposed to and now it’s my job to wait for the door to open.  So stay encourage and know that soon our wait will be over 🙂

w_c_waiting_room

Living Unapologetically

2I7A4780The morning of my wedding and I wanted to jump on the hotel bed with my girls lol. All the planning and frustration ended in my blueprint thoughts the day before. After hearing  Beyoncé “Sorry” played over 7 times on the radio, I felt like I was definitely living unapologetically.

I’m not sure if I could blame myself being an introvert or  just my way of thinking but I was (still am sometimes) living within limits. When I was a kid I remember apologizing to my friends seemed like all the time for something random lol.. but somehow those innocent disagreements created habits for me. I got into the habit of saying “I’m sorry” to the point it seemed like it was a part of my everyday language. I stayed in those limits because I wanted to be liked and I thought if I apologized first it would be easy to move on .

im-sorry-quotes-482290Starting a blog was pretty hard at first. I was used to sharing my thoughts on paper and locking them with a key until my husband kept saying blogging can help me . When I finally took the limits off of my ‘what if ‘ thoughts that’s when IntrovertedFillings was born. There were plenty of times I stayed in my comfort zone especially with food (that’s another story ) and having all of that built in with nothing to do at work one afternoon I told myself there has to be more in life . Do you like to stay in the comfort zone? Do you like to feel like you’re in control by staying in the lines?

Well I do too, but I must admit taking the limits off or ‘coloring outside the lines’ gives me a new outlook on things. For me to actually stop and say “I know there’s more to life than a 9 to 5 , burger & fries, saying sorry for things I didn’t cause” translated to “God I need to take the limits off my actions and I want EVERYTHING you have for me .” I promise after I said that a part of my brain was unlocked with ideas lol.  I still have some ways to go but what I can say there is peace in living unapologetically and I encourage you to try it as well 🙂 .