Acceptance

What is acceptance? It’s the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.

Who would’ve thought that this word would be so powerful? Accepted into college, accepted a job offer, accepted into your spouse’s family, just accepted for who you are. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing what you have to offer someone is willing to accept just that. However, acceptance doesn’t come right away at least for me it didn’t.

It took a while to accept myself when I was younger. Rejection questioned everything about myself including the way I looked. I wore colored contacts because I thought I could stand out. I didn’t feel accepted so I started an account with Yahoo! To join their chat rooms. It didn’t solve anything but created bigger issues than before. The issue was within myself. Some time later before knowing my husband , I had a big renovation in my thought process.

I am beautiful inside and out. I started saying affirmations to myself out loud and I began to see myself differently.

Accepting the way things are. I realized I was trying to get everyone’s attention and it doesn’t work that way. If someone didn’t like me the way I wanted them to that was ok and I learned to accept that.

God doesn’t make any mistakes. Rejection built parts of my character and I learned that even though I was hurt in the process he had to keep me hidden for his timing. I learned he accepted me before I was born . I was and still am everything in his eyes.

If you’re in a place of wanting to be “accepted” know that you are and you don’t have to change anything beautiful!

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Hearing His Voice

You ever been around people that just brag about their adventure and you just want to experience it for yourself? Well, this was me and the year 2015 was definitely an experience to remember. For a couple of years (at least it felt that way) I was desiring to have another type of experience with God. I read about him, sung about him , prayed to him , and felt I needed more. I wanted to hear his voice . I knew God had different ways of getting my attention but I wanted to hear him for myself.
I prayed and prayed ..nothing happened. I turned off all of my distractions..nothing happened. I even went on a complete fast ..and NOTHING HAPPENED! That season was very frustrating ! It’s like calling a restaurant to make an order and no one is picking up the phone so you’re questioning if you even have the right number, lol. I talked with my aunt and her response was to keep waiting . So one fun fact about me is that I’m an introvert ( I wouldn’t say I’m quiet 100% )but my mind stays busy like NYC traffic, which I guess made it hard to hear God.
One day in January 2015, the weather was at its coldest and living in the south with snow was the motivation I needed to stay in from work. I had my t.v off , just finished a meal , and started washing dishes. As I washed the dishes in complete silence it was at that moment I heard his voice. I always imagined I would hear a loud , thunder, manly voice and I’m glad that didn’t happen because I probably would of ran out of my apartment,lol.
The best way I could describe how he sounded to me is similar to my thoughts. A confident, strong sounding thought if that make any sense. If you could imagine hearing your parents speak to you but in your voice , that’s what it was . I knew it was him because I know how I think and talk. He said ” hello daughter , it’s great to hear from you .” My eyes stretched and I felt overwhelmed with joy. The experience I waited so long for finally came and the anticipation was worth every minute. 

Living Unapologetically

2I7A4780The morning of my wedding and I wanted to jump on the hotel bed with my girls lol. All the planning and frustration ended in my blueprint thoughts the day before. After hearing  BeyoncĂ© “Sorry” played over 7 times on the radio, I felt like I was definitely living unapologetically.

I’m not sure if I could blame myself being an introvert or  just my way of thinking but I was (still am sometimes) living within limits. When I was a kid I remember apologizing to my friends seemed like all the time for something random lol.. but somehow those innocent disagreements created habits for me. I got into the habit of saying “I’m sorry” to the point it seemed like it was a part of my everyday language. I stayed in those limits because I wanted to be liked and I thought if I apologized first it would be easy to move on .

im-sorry-quotes-482290Starting a blog was pretty hard at first. I was used to sharing my thoughts on paper and locking them with a key until my husband kept saying blogging can help me . When I finally took the limits off of my ‘what if ‘ thoughts that’s when IntrovertedFillings was born. There were plenty of times I stayed in my comfort zone especially with food (that’s another story ) and having all of that built in with nothing to do at work one afternoon I told myself there has to be more in life . Do you like to stay in the comfort zone? Do you like to feel like you’re in control by staying in the lines?

Well I do too, but I must admit taking the limits off or ‘coloring outside the lines’ gives me a new outlook on things. For me to actually stop and say “I know there’s more to life than a 9 to 5 , burger & fries, saying sorry for things I didn’t cause” translated to “God I need to take the limits off my actions and I want EVERYTHING you have for me .” I promise after I said that a part of my brain was unlocked with ideas lol.  I still have some ways to go but what I can say there is peace in living unapologetically and I encourage you to try it as well 🙂 .