Rise of the Phoenix

2019 has been an eventful year and the best theme I could use to describe mine would be, The Rise of the Phoenix.

At first I heard of this theme being in the carnival festival. The band I was with had this theme and then another festival following that was called Phoenix festival. Months later I went to the movies to watch Maleficient ll and once again I found this same theme! Needless to say it caught my full attention.

The Phoenix representing strength and transformation has been consistent key takeaways for me.

My relationship with God has been transformational. I gained a new perspective on how I view things , especially with work. I focus more on praying for my coworkers and being more in the present. Perfecting my skills at work so I’ll be able to use them in wherever I go to next.

This year I’ve been trying new things whether that’s new food, starting a podcast (everyday adventures in Faith: available on Spotify, etc), or preparing to speak at a conference in 2020! I’m shocked because I know my comfort level and the few things I’ve mentioned were not it! Lol 😂 I’m nervous but excited because I feel like it’s time.

I think this will definitely be an ongoing theme for me as I continue to blossom out of my shell so I’m happy to meet this different version of Ashley. What was your recurring theme for 2019?

Everyday Adventures

Let me get straight to the point, I started a podcast! It’s called Everyday Adventures in Faith, a podcast created to inspire and to encourage people to walk boldly in their faith. I plan to publish the first episode in December so I’m pretty excited and honestly kind of anxious but as long as God gets the glory it’s all good :-).

Recording the first episode wasn’t so bad. I don’t have the fancy equipment yet but I used what I had to get started and I think its good. Now making the decision to actually start one was challenging. I listen to podcasts all the time and sometimes I would feel a nudge to start one myself. Not feeling qualified or feeling like my voice wasn’t ‘strong’ enough made me turn down the thought of one day creating a podcast.

I can say I got out of my ‘fillings’ with this one and did it! So when you feel a nudge to start something don’t wait for it to be perfect. Use what you have and create it! Also look out for my podcast on whatever platform you listen to your podcasts.

Hello Martha.

I am Martha and Martha is me, but who is she?

I’m not talking about Martha Stewart but the one from the Bible that had a sis named Mary. Okay, so to give you some insight on this lady I’ll share this quick story:

Martha invited Jesus into her home and while she was distracted with her responsibilities, her sis,Mary, stayed with Jesus listening to his teaching. Martha was like,” ummm HELLO?! Jesus you see I’m doing all this work and my sister not helping me! Tell her to help me.” Jesus said, “you’re concerned about soo many things but your sister chose the right thing to focus on.”

OUCH! I felt convicted when I read this story because I can be like Martha sometimes. On the enneagram, I’m a 7 (that’s a blogpost for another time) . An enthusiast, seeks adventure, and doesn’t like to be bored describes some parts of me. That being said I can get distracted with my thoughts/ideas and whatever I’m currently working on.

Can I get an Amen from the back 🙋🏾‍♀️?! I mean I can seriously be like a squirrel sometimes lol. Just like Martha, annoyed and distracted with things I would like to accomplish , I go to God asking for help and He says, “Rest”.

So what do I do when I start to feel like Martha?

• Spend time reading the Word
• Journal my thoughts
• Give my concerns to Him
• Reflect by walking in the park
• Pray

After doing this is when I get clearer in my goals and actually have direction on how I should prioritize my tasks.

Masquerading Introvert

For the past couple of years I’ve always participated in Raleigh’s Caribmask Carnival…as a spectator. If you’ve never heard of Caribmask it’s a beautiful weekend event to go to in August. The streets of downtown Raleigh are filled with vendors, soca music, and beautiful people dancing while dressed in vibrant costumes. It’s a lot of fun and I made the decision I was no longer going to watch on the sidelines.

After doing all the hard work to finding the mas band I was going to join, working out, etc., etc. , it was the big day!

The thought of performing in front of a group of people made me nervous. I did cheerleading and dance but walking around in a bikini just sounded crazy to me lol. You may be thinking, “Why did you do it?” Well I like to challenge myself. I know how it feels to be in fear but what does it feel like to just live in that moment? So I did it.

I felt kind of awkward at first walking to find my group before the parade started…probably because I felt so vulnerable and didn’t see anyone dressed like me at first. I had these big beautiful wings on my back as a part of my costume that I kept forgetting I was wearing until I realized I was slapping people with them as I walked smh.

Once I found my band I felt less awkward. There were women in all shapes and sizes just dancing , getting prepared to walk and I was there taking it all in. Eventually I got out of my feelings and started embracing the environment. It was sooo much fun! It may become a hobby of mine to do every year, that’s how much fun it was.

I hope sharing my introvert experience in the Caribbean festival will encourage you to go out and experience something new as well :-)!

The ‘No-Shows’Event

As an author you envision nothing but success for your audience and business. You’ve put yourself out there completely and at the very least expect a great turnout at your events. What happens when no one shows up?

This actually happened to me before. It was my second book signing event and it made sense for me to have it in my hometown because everyone knew me, knew of me, or knew someone related to me. My first event was successful so somehow I figured I could approach this one the same way. I only shared it to the people on social media and then on the day of I waited…..waited…. and waited. Eventually about 6-8 people came (thanks to family and friends lol) but I was soooooo HAPPY! What an experience! So back to my question: What happens when no one shows up?

It’s nothing more humbling than to have no one come to your event or avoid your vending table. After all the work you did to create your book, set up your table, and to have no one or the number of people you expected to not show up is definitely an experience to have as an author. I believe you appreciate the platform even more as you grow into the author God called you to be.

During my book signing event I only had 6-8 people and in the beginning I was waiting for more to come, smh. Eventually I got over that expectation and focused on the ones that were there. It reminded me of one of the parables in the bible about the faithful servant. ‘His master said to him, ‘well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful and trustworthy over a little, I will put you in charge of many things; share in the joy of your master.’-Matt. 25:21  When no one else showed up it taught me to be faithful over the little and have joy in the moment.

When no one showed up I was able to reflect and honestly had a ‘Come to Jesus’ moment. The location I chose for my event made sense to me because it was in a town I grew up in. I realized if I wanted to grow my business, I needed to get out of the comfort zone. I learned alot of friends and family will not support you just because they know you and that’s great because it helps narrow your target audience. You also wouldn’t want just family supporting your business anyway.

So the next time you have no one to show up at your event, know its a humbling experience to have and there are great takeaways to learn every time!

 

Qualified

It’s been a while since I’ve shared my ‘fillings’. I kind of pick and choose what to share while I’m in that season and for the past few days I’ve been in awe of how God choses the qualified.

What does it mean to be qualified? To be officially recognized as being trained to perform a particular job.

Growing up I’ve never been recognized as being good in sports, like softball. I feel like I was always the last few to be called on a team and I never liked playing because I felt like I wasn’t good enough. There were people on the team that obviously knew what they were doing and then there was me. LOL!

It’s the same when I’m offered a job position and there’s people that worked hard with their degrees apply for the same position. Opportunities to speak and there’s people that have years of experience to do so and yet God calls the one that used to walk with her head down.

One of my favorite stories was when Moses was called to speak to God’s people and he had a speech impediment! Now it would make sense for someone that spoke well to have the job that Moses was given but God thought he would be perfect for the job.

So how does God qualify us? Well for one he doesn’t judge us the same as others.

‘…For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”-1Samuel 16:7

I believe when we’re humble, we’re teachable and with that type of character it puts us in places we could only imagine. I think another thing about being qualified is that we can’t think of ourselves how others think of us. If God says we’re trained to do a particular job we should already have the faith to support it.

So the next time you go after that big thing, whatever it is , know that you are qualified!

 

I’m so glad He doesn’t view us in the same lens as others and in spite of

 

Glossophobia

The fear of public speaking. According to The National Institute of Mental Health about 75% are affected by this social phobia including myself.

I honestly don’t know how the fear started because I did presentations all the time. Maybe the fear came from not knowing everyone’s thoughts or the thought of being embarrassed in front of everyone.

Fast forward, I became an author and started saying ‘yes’ to sharing my stories. I said yes to an opportunity to speak at my alma mater. I even said yes to participate in a pitch competition that I had to prepare the night before. Let me also mention I was SCARED!! So how am I fighting against this fear?

Pray. It doesn’t matter how much I try to prepare myself studying everyone’s tips and strategies if I don’t pray and ask for boldness I doubt I would be able to even  stand in front of an audience. I ask God to get myself out of my thoughts, to stop caring about what others think, and that He’ll get the glory. I also ask for Him to give me the words to say because I don’t want to be random.

Write it down. I write in my journal all the time so it’s a no brainer when I write down what I’m going to say to a crowd. I’m not writing to remember line to line but it makes me feel comfortable and stay focused so I won’t ramble.

Take notes. I like to observe how people present in front of an audience.It’s very helpful listening to other speakers and watching how they keep the audience engaged.

Practice. You ever meditated over what you were going to say in your mind but when it was time to speak it didn’t come out that way? lol! This happens to me sometimes so I try not to overly practice but I do go over what I’ll say out loud.

Be you. God gave us unique traits that makes us stand out from others so what’s a better way to use it than in public speaking? I’ve noticed my bubbly personality captures an audience attention while another person that tells jokes all the time captures an audience attention. However God made you to be, when you speak let it shine in confidence.

I pray one day my heart can stop beating hard out of my chest, that my hands will stop getting sweaty, and I won’t wait until sometimes the last minute to give my cares to God. As He continues to give me strength I will continue to share my story.

 Remember there’s value in your story and someone is out there waiting to hear it.

The Boyfriend Book

Do you have that one friend that will remind you of the reasons why you shouldn’t pursue a particular relationship? A scripture or a quote to encourage you? I’m blessed to say I now have those but when I was younger I had The Boyfriend Book.

I didn’t know that’s what it was until I noticed a pattern with the way I wrote in the notebook. Basically it was this notebook where I wrote the name of the guy I dated (or wanted to date…mostly wanted to date lol) , facts about him ( including zodiac sign SMH), things that attracted me to him, and things that I didn’t like or reasons why the relationship wouldn’t work.

I don’t know why I started that book back then. I probably needed a separate journal to organize my thoughts. Either way that book was a lifesaver because writing down the reasons why the relationship didn’t work encouraged me to move on. Writing and meditating on a list was like having that friend to constantly remind me of how I deserved better.

Now I don’t have that book or need it because I’m married lol but I can still apply the same concept in other areas of my life. Along with my list of “why I shouldn’t pursue…” I like to read over scriptures to help me make better decisions. For example, if I wrote on my list how someone was a distraction I would read over a scripture like Matthew 24:13 but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

I hope writing your list will encourage you just as much as it has helped me. Stay blessed!

More Than a Label

What is the first thing you recognize when applying for a job position? For me it’s the job title, of course!  A title confirmed your role in a company, it qualified you to have a voice in certain areas. In a dental office you’ll interact with people in the front office to the dental assistant and hygienist. They can all give you advice to ‘brush your teeth’ but when the dentist delivers the same message it is received because they are highly respected and ‘most qualified’ to say it.

This wasn’t my reason of wanting to become a doctor but I paid attention to the respect patients gave dentists and loved it.

Respect, responsibility, a decent pay was in a title and if I wasn’t careful whatever job I had could eventually become my identity if I allowed it.

If you thought the same as me I hope you also came to realize self love is worth way more than a job title.

Working with coworkers and adapting to responsibilities develops your character but your title does not define who you are or your success.

In any role, whether it’s being a doctor or a janitor, serving others should always be your first priority.

Daughter of the King

 

 I’m doodling and get a ‘random’ shirt idea for my business called, ‘Daughter of the King.’  I immediately look it up because I like to create first (smh lol) and I see several shirts with the same phrase. What in the world?? It doesn’t make sense. How does the idea come so clearly but everyone already created it? I was upset and thought I was just making up things in my head.

A few seconds later the voice of God said, “Ash, you do know there is nothing new under the sun, right? It’s all how you present it.” This reminded me of Ecclesiastes 1:9 ‘What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.’ Wow ! That was definitely what I needed to hear.  In my original idea I had so much going on with the font ,words, and color it just wasn’t flowing. So after humbling myself I asked him how he wanted the shirt since it was clearly his idea, lol. That’s when it worked. Out of obedience and humbling myself I was able to receive clear direction for my shirt design.

Now what does it mean to be a daughter of the King? II Corinthians 6:18 says, “And I will be a father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” If he’s the King of kings and he calls me his daughter…that means I’m royalty? Not only royalty but to know our Father in heaven is strong, dependable, and loves us more than anyone could. To know I’m a daughter of the King does something to my self esteem. It gives me confidence to walk with my head held high, very encouraging. Just as it speaks life to me that’s what I wanted for others ,especially children.