The Power of Saying “NO!”

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If every answer to a question was a ‘yes’ I wonder what would life be like? Even though there’s  glamour in saying yes , there’s definitely power in a no.  ‘No’ will direct you on the right path.  I can’t tell you how many times I was rejected in my relationship quests when I was younger but let’s just say I was persistent, lol. The same determination I had stuck with me when I started applying for jobs (100 applications & 20 interviews later.. ) . The experiences were frustrating yet it somehow gave me fuel to keep pushing myself to the point I had to stop and evaluate what was going on.  Chasing guys did not look pretty so when I finally gained a better understanding of who God created me to be that’s when I became friends with my now husband. After applying to a million jobs and receiving no’s , it directed me on the path I’m on now.

‘No’ is good for your well-being. Making promises to everyone can be stressful and overwhelming. When you finally accept the fact that you can’t please everyone it feels like a sigh of relief. Creating the guest list for my wedding was very stressful at first. I had so many people in mind I pictured at the wedding but it was conflicting with the actual cost. I looked up a great method on how to handle the guest list and it relieved my stress tremendously!

‘No’ helps you think clearer . Honestly , saying no right away is not my first response. There’s so much power in our words but to mentally process what we’re asked first is power all on its on. How many times did we agree to something without thinking through the question first? When I submitted my DAT (Dental Admission Test) scores , the schools sent me emails immediately after. They knew my character but wanted me to push more academically. The schools said ‘no, not now’ ,which was great because it allowed me think clearer on what I wanted .

To hear the word ‘no’ can bring so much emotions , good and bad, depending on how you receive it.  I think God created that word with us in mind. He wants to protect us, keep us in perfect health, and mature our thinking . So the next time you’re rejected be joyful because something great is on your way!

 

Live as an adult& think like a child

You ever sat at a bench and people-watched? Random yet interesting especially children. They’re funny, straight to the point, full of energy, and believe almost anything. As a child I believed in a lot even if it didn’t make logical sense , you had my support 100%. For instance , how did Santa get into my house without a chimney or a key? I wasn’t sure but I knew he came because I had half eaten cookies to prove it lol.

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It’s something about children I truly enjoy. They were the inspiration behind my career decision in second grade and even now as a children’s church teacher I admire them at times. I appreciate how children are wowed at the simplest things .They’re ex- friends then best friends in the same hour, you may have to talk to them once…twice…or a million and yet it’s easier to be yourself to them than an adult sometimes.

One place I can count on where everyone has a childlike mentality is Disney World. The atmosphere is so friendly and carefree . I know the times I’ve gone I think I actually felt like it was a part of my happily ever after.. like I didn’t have go back to work the following week.l8uobo-l8uoa1mickeyandminniemouse I live for these kind of moments. Moments of random joy , peace, forgiveness,  and faith. As our bodies mature into adults I wonder what shifts our thinking ? Life’s lessons are taught when we’re in our humblest state, when we’re able to listen and follow direction. I think children are the best teachers because they don’t understand everything and its okay.. what a great characteristic!

While it’s the season to take on responsibilities as adults there are seasons for us to enjoy life with a childlike way of thinking. Things will pop up in life where it doesn’t make sense and it’s okay God’s got it all figured out. There are times you’ll have to forgive others and even though you may not be friends , it’s okay just move on . It’s time to embrace the silly , carefree moments and enjoy life as a kid :-)!IMG_1124

Living Unapologetically

2I7A4780The morning of my wedding and I wanted to jump on the hotel bed with my girls lol. All the planning and frustration ended in my blueprint thoughts the day before. After hearing  Beyoncé “Sorry” played over 7 times on the radio, I felt like I was definitely living unapologetically.

I’m not sure if I could blame myself being an introvert or  just my way of thinking but I was (still am sometimes) living within limits. When I was a kid I remember apologizing to my friends seemed like all the time for something random lol.. but somehow those innocent disagreements created habits for me. I got into the habit of saying “I’m sorry” to the point it seemed like it was a part of my everyday language. I stayed in those limits because I wanted to be liked and I thought if I apologized first it would be easy to move on .

im-sorry-quotes-482290Starting a blog was pretty hard at first. I was used to sharing my thoughts on paper and locking them with a key until my husband kept saying blogging can help me . When I finally took the limits off of my ‘what if ‘ thoughts that’s when IntrovertedFillings was born. There were plenty of times I stayed in my comfort zone especially with food (that’s another story ) and having all of that built in with nothing to do at work one afternoon I told myself there has to be more in life . Do you like to stay in the comfort zone? Do you like to feel like you’re in control by staying in the lines?

Well I do too, but I must admit taking the limits off or ‘coloring outside the lines’ gives me a new outlook on things. For me to actually stop and say “I know there’s more to life than a 9 to 5 , burger & fries, saying sorry for things I didn’t cause” translated to “God I need to take the limits off my actions and I want EVERYTHING you have for me .” I promise after I said that a part of my brain was unlocked with ideas lol.  I still have some ways to go but what I can say there is peace in living unapologetically and I encourage you to try it as well 🙂 .

 

 

Overcoming the fear of dentists

I had the opportunity to shadow all kinds of dentists and the specialty that caught my interest was pediatric dentistry. In this field dentists focus on oral health of children from babies through teenage years. The patients are unpredictable , some cooperate while others have no problem letting everyone know they are terrified of dentists.

tips-to-tame-childs-fear-of-dentist-webCould it be from the bright lights? The weird looking dental instruments? Or the fact dentists are working in their personal space? I agree the dental office can be intimidating and the thought of someone handling vulnerable areas in the mouth is enough to run away . However there are some tips that may help children on their next dental visit.

According to NCPediatricDentistry, they recommend that you talk about dentists positively. Create a good experience by sharing stories related to dentists. If you could only think of that one bad experience you had share other people stories. Reward them for being brave. One of the things I enjoyed from my dental visits was the toy treasure chest. If I was good during my appointment (which was all the time lol) the dentist allowed me to pick one toy from the chest, very encouraging! I went to one office to shadow and they rewarded children by giving them a gold coin to use for their toy/ gumball machine.23034455_m

Explain that the dentist is a friend. I could tell the difference between the child that received ‘pep talk’ before their dental appointment vs the one that cry hysterically as their parents talk to them at the moment. I think it helps children and dentists when the parents already explain the details of the dental appointment. Playing ‘pretend doctor’ could help lessen anxiety and reading children books about dentistry is a plus!

Take your child to meet the dentist first. As they visit the dentist consistently they’ll hopefully start to recognize them as a friend and become comfortable during their actual appointment. I enjoyed watching fear disappear from children faces when hygienists allow them to hold some of the dental instruments  to let them know there’s nothing to be scared of . When there’s a lot of interaction and communication between the patient and dental staff it makes a big difference.thw7oqr9w0

Select sedation for children. Now for this I wish there was an alternative. Through shadowing I’ve watched and helped dentists keep children seated so they could sedate them properly and it was NOT EASY! I also understand this is necessary for most of their procedures. One thing I enjoyed was how some dental offices kept children preoccupied with iPads and TV as they administered medicine.

There’s so much to learn from the world of dentistry and fear is not one of them. So let’s start painting better pictures for our children and dentists!

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Just Do It but how?

I’ve seen Nike’s, Just Do It ,logo for years and would associate it with working out. Stop complaining , put on their clothes , and just do it . Seems simple enough but when I started hearing this same phrase applied to other areas in my life , I ask how?nike_just_do_it_wallpaper_smoke___paintball_effect_by_ryanr08-d4h54qcRecently I’ve been getting the same response everywhere including podcasts I’ve listened to but until yesterday I believe I finally have my ‘but how?’ question answered.

According to Think and Grow Rich Chick , she came up with 5 ways for making goals do-able , so I’ll just paraphrase what I’ve learned.

  • Goal setting requires a deadline and commitment

-Make sure your goals aren’t wishes . Create realistic deadlines

  • Believe it’s possible!

– Eliminate any doubts that may enter your mind

  • Find your ‘rabbit’

– Think & Grow Chick used the example of track and field when the person running the fastest (rabbit) is closely followed by the 2nd place runner. The ‘rabbit’ is the one setting the trend.

-Whatever is your goal there is someone that already achieved it so instead of being jealous take note of what they do . Being consistent is key!

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  • Find Puzzle pieces

– Break down your goal to 5-10 things and find out what it takes for each puzzle piece

-Choose what you can work on at the moment and continue everyday

 

 

#Picture Perfect

I don’t think words could explain how happy I was in these moments so you could only imagine how grateful I was to have an amazing photographer . The picture on the left was from one of our engagement photos. Our theme was Princess and The Frog , I was inspired from the era so I chose old poses for our shoot. We had lots of fun that day , so much joy and laughter. Laughing from my then fiancé picking me up three times before we got a good photo, looking at each other awkwardly in our pose while the photographer changed his lens, and how some man stopped to look at us take photos then asked if we had money. What a perfect picture!

The picture on the right was from one of our wedding pictures of course. Extremely happy to say at the very least lol but let’s look at the picture closer. I was NERVOUS in that moment!! I’m known to be a private person including showing public displays of affection so for this moment I had to practice lol. I remembered telling my husband “please! don’t be extra !!” I would imagine me fainting in front of everyone ( dramatic) as I walked down the aisle but the truth was everything was blurry and the only ones that were in focus was my pastor and husband. Another picture perfect!

How many times we look at a photo and feel inspired to accomplish what someone else has? Honestly I think it’s all of us which is fine but good pictures are like best friends at times. Pictures are straight to the point capturing the best moments, not showing what happens behind the scenes like the editing that needs to take place for a good picture. Just like our vision. We see the final picture and in order for us to have that perfect picture its going to require a lot of work. Distractions will come , fear may try to make your situation bigger than what it is, but stay encouraged because you’re creating your picture perfect 🙂

A love letter to my passion

Dear dentistry,

I know you don’t know me completely  but I need to let you know how I feel about you. I love how you take pride in serving others . You consistently build people’s confidence and remind them they’re worth their smile. Besides the beauty in appearance, I can’t get over your love of health. I listen as you educate on the importance of oral health. The fact that heart disease is linked to periodontitis and children are affected by tooth decay makes me commit in knowing you more.

I would love to get to know you better! I talked about you with people that actually know you and they say I should go for it . Truth is I did.. but I will not give up because I don’t know how. You play hard to get when I approach you but you’ll eventually give in. Your presence inspires me to put myself aside and serve others wholeheartedly . I know it was God that introduced me to you because no matter how hard I try to walk away I feel peace with you .

Give us a try

 

Where’s your outlet?

plugIn general ,the electrical outlet is used to connect an electrical device to an electricity supply. Just about everything we use requires an outlet : cellphones , computers, TV, etc., etc. Your cellphone is charged and ready to be used for a couple of hours then it has to let you know it needs energy. The same is applied in our everyday lives. Energy is drained constantly from work, relationships , or  just going through the day in general  and that’s when we ask , ” Where’s my outlet?”

Growing up I loved being to myself ( still do !) , I had friends but it was something about my ‘me time’ . I had a lot of moments where I didn’t feel pretty enough and got picked on . Besides crying to my mom and friends I needed a place to vent that’s how my outlet to write started. I used my imagination a lot and it introduced me to poetry. As I wrote my poems helped me to clear my emotions and become creative. I guess it even compliments to my blog today :-).  My next outlet I love to have is music. Music for me takes me to another place and I use it a lot at work lol ! Pandora , my best friend, helps me get into a productive mood and it seems to help me move faster depending on the song. Another outlet that gets me into a better mood , Instagram. I follow a bunch of Ig’s comedians and I just watch their short clips when I feel like laughing . Playing tennis is my favorite outlet after a long week of work . After a few hits back and forth it not only clears your mind but it’s a fun way of working out ! Last but not least , the outlet I use everyday is spending time with God. I have to speak to him before I start work and later during the day . He gives so much of himself I feel charged and ready for whatever the day is bringing. Besides speaking to him , I like to study scriptures and read devotionals . While I feel I may be giving 40% , like a cell phone battery, he in turns gives so much more .

So your outlet(s) can be a number of things , just make sure you stay connected to your source of energy!

The heart of a volunteer

I can now say I really enjoy volunteering . Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t always have a heart for it but my thinking  changed and I now have an appreciation to give . At first the thought of volunteering was more of a task than a genuine service. In college , as most of you may know, you have to get service hours as a part of graduation requirements. Well , I did but it was mostly buying canned goods for shelter homes because I wanted the weekend to myself.. lol smh. After graduating I started volunteering with dental clinics to get hours and because I love the dental environment.

My first volunteer position was to carry a spit bucket from station to station , eww is right. The suctioning dental assistants do in people’s mouths has to go somewhere and where there’s volunteer clinics  you’ll find pre dentals emptying those nasty bottles . Another time I helped sterilize the dental instruments. One Saturday , as I was giving dental bags to people, a patient started crying saying, ” Thank you so much , this all means so much to me!”  That’s when my thinking changed. All this time I didn’t think I was doing much.

I wasn’t the hygienist that cleaned teeth , not the dentist that alleviated pain , and not the techs that’s creating the dentures . I’m simply me and the patient says ‘thank you’ .  This inspired me 100 percent and it seems after my thinking shifted the volunteer positions changed as well. I know its like a first come first serve with the positions at the clinic but I was able to assist the dentist and chart teeth ( which is a big deal for me because I’m not certified ..hee hee).

I had similar moments volunteering with Habitat for Humanity and a local christian radio station where God was /continues to show me how to serve. Ephesians 6:7 states ,’Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people’. It has become one of my favorite encouraging scriptures to recite especially in the workplace .

No matter how big or small your service may seem or to be in a place where you feel useless know that God recognizes not only the quality of your work but your heart as well! 🙂

A Fresh Start

I love the drive people have at the beginning of the year on social media pages. Goals of staying healthy, building financially , and staying focused are the popular topics as I scroll down the pages. As for me I learned a lot in 2016 and through my experiences it helped to mentally prepare for 2017 journey. I hope this can help you as well , enjoy 🙂 !!

Stay on the path God equipped for you

A lot of us have goals for this year but may not have the best plan to achieve them . As a result it may seem easier to imitate others .. what I’m learning as I discover my purpose in life is that God equipped us with different skills for our journey . So its ok if you have a nail and I have a hammer , our purpose is still to build even though we don’t have the same tools! The cool thing is he’s in charge of your map and can guide you when you ask for direction.

The go-to people

Being quiet actually is a good quality to have especially when choosing your team of success. Just think if someone wanted to meet you but had to meet your friends first , you would/should want friends that not only reflect but compliment your character. People of excellence is what everyone should want in their corner.  They advise from their level of ‘expertise’ ( financial, spiritual, relationship, etc). People I may know through dentistry may be limited to ‘academic advising’ , my pastor is my ‘spiritual advisor’, and the list continues.  Having these people in designated areas of your life limits opinions and provides a strong foundation as you build . Remember plans succeed with many advisors.

Staying consistent

I had a schedule that consisted of  spending time with God,  working , eating, working out, watching tv, and going to sleep Monday – Friday. I complained how I didn’t have time to  work on my goals for a while especially last year! Oh, the woes of my inconsistency ! I waited and waited for an opportunity where I could find time to work on my craft and instead a year flies by lol  :-/ . Work  on your craft after work everyday is what I’m now telling myself. Every minute is a result of the decision you made to either be productive or to procrastinate. I used to wait to workout in the gym on Saturdays because I didn’t have time to go during the week now its everyday at home/gym. Want more money? Well I’m learning after you tithe , pay yourself . It may not seem like much but it will start to accumulate . I also learned consistency was the key for applying for jobs. I applied for a lot and noticed job sites posting at certain times . The only way for me to see a trend was to go through the process of applying and rejection.  Staying consistent is not easy , well not for me , I need motivation .  I like to have an award system for myself . Say I studied and retained the information for the week , well that Saturday I may treat myself for the movies. Same as working out , when I consistently work out and eat healthy during the week that Saturday I may have a cheat day.

I hope what I learned in 2016 will help us both as we take over 2017, Happy new year!!